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How to silence your wounded inner child

Ha, no, please, please don´t smother your inner child with a pillow!

Smother it with love, care, compassion!

Much healthier and it won´t get you into trouble.

Actually, it will get you out of trouble!

The cry we hear from deep in our hearts, comes from the wounded child within.  Healing this inner child´s pain is the key to transforming anger, sadness, and fear.
Healing the inner child is the key to silenci it.

Balance, support, guidance

When I feel out of balance, I seek solace in my Doreen Virtue´s Angel Oracle Cards deck. This deck of cards gives me moments of reflection, self-awareness and then hope. Hope, because the cards give me guidance, strength and support. I see these confirmation that I´m on the right path of my healing adventure. It makes me aware that I have the tools to take good care of myself.

And that it´s my responsibility to take good care of my health, life, happiness. I am in charge.


Quite often I get this card: ´CHILD´. As I don´t have children, I see it as a reminder to heal my still wounded inner child. I focus on it for a while. I listen to, hug and acknowledge this hurt inner child. I give it the attention that it so desperately needs.

Healing inner child journey

When one is on a healing journey, one comes across the words ´inner child´ on a regular basis. When one is on a quest for inner peace, to silence the storm, one consciously and subconsciously talks about their childhood. That´s your inner child.

It´s the young you, or me, or them. The baby, toddler, pre-teen, teenager and even student or young adult we once were. More often than not, that younger you was not happy or in a happy place.

That child that did not feel seen, heard, loved, acknowledged, cared for, unsafe. That child that was in pain, felt rejected, neglected, hurt, ashamed, bullied.


That wounded inner child is still part of us.

Even though you really want to forget about your past. Even when you long to move on. One first needs to process the past. Because the past affects one´s present. This wounded inner child can sabotage relationships. It can undermine confidence. It can have an impact on self-esteem. On self-worth. On our abilities to communicate. Our ability to set, protect and respect boundaries.

"The cry we hear from deep in our hearts, comes from the wounded child within. Healing this inner child´s pain is the key to transforming anger, sadness, and fear." - Thich Nhat Hanh -


7 tips to heal (or at least comfort) the wounded inner child

So, how do you heal that inner child?

  1. Acknowledge your inner child. Tell it that you know it´s there, that you know it feels hurt. Allow it to grieve. Create space for your inner child.

  2. Ask what this child needs. Ask what it wants you to do.

  3. Listen to what the inner child is saying. Does it ask for love, a hug? Does it need to feel seen, heard? Where do you feel the pain in your body?

  4. Tell the inner child that you are here for them. Praise it (I´m so proud of you that you got out of that situation, you worked so hard, it wasn´t easy, but you´ve did it). Tell it it´s safe now. Protected.

  5. Hug yourself. Wrap your arms around yourself, rock if necessary. Allow tears to flow and hold tight.

  6. Tell that inner child that it matters. That you will be there for it. That it is safe. That you will always have time for it.

  7. Be playful. What did you enjoy doing when you were young? Or what did you really wanted to do when you were young? Schedule time for these activities. Dance. Draw. Colour books. Play. Watch cartoons. Listen to music. Play with sand, clay or water. Be silly. Lay on your back in the grass, watch the sky, feel the sun on your face, hear the sounds around you.


How you do comfort yourself during this journey?

Now you have spent time with your inner child, it´s time to focus on you. The current you.

  1. Praise yourself. Nothing makes you feel better than praise. And when you praise yourself, there is no hidden agenda. It´s all for you and you don´t have to do anything in return. Tell yourself: I am beautiful, I am kind, I am proud of what I have achieved.

  2. Be kind to yourself. Use kind words when you talk to or about yourself.

  3. Look into the mirror and say to yourself: I matter. I am enough, I was always enough, will be enough and have been enough. I am lovable. I am connected. I belong. I always take care of you. I am deserving of happiness, peace, safety, stability, abundance, love. I love you.

  4. Be patient with yourself. Give yourself time to heal, grow, find joy.

  5. Breath. Sit or lie down comfortably. Focus on your breathing. Take conscious long inhales, hold for a second and slowly breath out. Repeat at least 3 times. Breath towards the pain you feel in your body.

  6. Seek help if you are struggling. You don´t have to do it alone and you´re not alone!


You´ve got this.


About Silke

Silke helps her clients to take direction in their lives. Personal leadership, in other words. Why do you react the way you react? Why do you think the way you think? Why do you communicate the way you communicate. Why do you fight, flee or freeze? Where does that come from?

Taking leadership is something Silke has done too. Talking about following your heart´s desire. During the corona pandemic she retrained herself. To something that makes her really happy. Therapist. Working with the subconscious mind, thus improving the relationship you have with yourself. Because, in her humble opinion, that is where the real transformation and change starts. To understand yourself, to let go, to break the cycle. To enjoy life again.

Silke is caring, authentic, practical, pragmatic, sees things from both sides, has a wicked sense of humour and takes life serious and not too serious at the same time.

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