You want to hear words of compassion, love, care. You want to be acknowledged, seen and heard.
Often, when we are on our healing journey, and we hit a rocky patch, we hear the words “Trust the process”.
Not exactly the words you want to hear when you feel like:
“I´m walking in circles.”
“I´m wading through treacle.”
“I´m completely lost in the woods.”
“I really don´t know what to do or say.”
“I don´t know what to answer.”
“For heaven´s sake, what am I doing?”
You want to hear words of compassion, love, care. You want to be acknowledged, seen and heard. Not "Trust the process…"
Your struggle is real!
Let me tell you, your struggle is real.
It´s not easy when you are grieving, changing, or saying goodbye to limiting beliefs.
It´s not easy when you are going through a divorce, burnout, or healing journey.
It´s not easy when you are facing fears, cutting cords, or breaking chains.
It´s not easy at all! But... sometimes you do have to trust the process.
What do you mean, “trust the process”…
Well, it means that even though your healing journey feels like a challenge right now, you must have faith and continue your journey. Results, change, and success take time. Sometimes a lot of time. It´s only when we look back, we see how far we have come. So, be aware of that.
"Trust the process" is keep continuing your healing journey, your journey of change, acceptance, growth. Committed, determined, dedicated. All this paired with patience, compassion and mildness. Progress and a process is like that old coat that no longer fits you, but the new coat doesn´t feel like a fitted glove either yet. It will though, in time.
Progress isn´t linear
It´s most definitely not smooth. Progress isn´t the same daily amount of energy, flow or emotional investment either. Some days 10% is the 100% you can give. On other days you´ll fly and take huge steps.
Becoming who you are meant to be
Every challenge you face on this trip forges strength and character.
Every challenge is a stepping stone towards becoming who you´re meant to be.
Every challenge is about letting go of "control" and accepting that some things are outside our circle of influence.
I can imagine that the above is just wishy-washy to you. You might think: “Very nice, Silke, that you wrote all this, but what can I actually do to keep continuing this healing journey when it´s so hard.”
7 tips to help you trust the process
Here are 7 tips to help you trust the process and continue your journey.
1. Set clear goals
Set small, achievable steps goals. Be specific about what you want to achieve. Include how do you want to feel in certain situations, how do you want to react or to behave. Do include the ´why´ too. Because this “why” is a gentle reminder of the reason you went on this healing journey.
2. Focus on the present
Don´t look too far ahead (the end goal) because that can be quite overwhelming. As in: it´s such a long road, and there is still so much to do. Instead, what are your goals for today? Focus on the small steps. Maybe say "no" today. You are still lovable when you say "no". Practice mindfulness. Go outside and describe in detail what you hear, see, smell. Or ground yourself (feet firmly planted on the earth) and focus on your breathing. This will reduce feelings of anxiety you are experiencing.
3. Reflect
Look back and see how much you have achieved. Be proud of yourself. Every win, how insignificant it may seem, matters. Celebrate these wins. Praise yourself, a lot and very often.
But also: reflect on each challenge. What did you feel? How did you respond? What went well, and what would you like to change next time? Understanding your emotions and thoughts, will help you manage similar situations in the future.
4. Adopt a learning mindset
Every challenge is a lesson. See each challenge as an opportunity to learn and grow. Be grateful for all those lessons. These blessings in disguise will help you become stronger, resilient, happy, content, free.
5. Have patience
Yeah, yeah, yeah, easier said than done, I know. Change doesn´t happen overnight. It takes time to transform. Give yourself time to grow and change. Accept that you can´t force, speed up or manipulate change. Remind yourself that you need time to change. Be kind to yourself when things go slow. Be mild when you fall out of step. Don´t let emotions run your life. Keep an eye on the end goal. Just keep going. Step by step, day by day.
6. Accept uncertainty
There is no control. Some things just happen, it's a fact of life. You can´t control the weather, you can´t control the news, you can´t control your partner´s or your children´s behaviour. The only thing you can control are your thoughts. When you control your thoughts, you can control your behaviour and how you react to situations. Say: "It is what it is." "Okay, my life is shit, but I´m still here. I´m breathing and I can enjoy the sunlight, the bird songs." "I know I am worthy of change." "I matter, I am enough, I am lovable, whatever happens." "It´s okay how I feel today, all my feelings and emotions are valid and I will step back to go easy on me."
7. Seek help
If it is all too much, you don´t know what to do, and you are struggling, seek support. You´re not alone and you don´t have to do it alone!
Embrace your journey with all its ups and downs.
Safe travels.
You got this.
With love,
Silke
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